Walking My Talk
As a young person, one of the most frustrating things for me was when my parents would tell me I wasn't allowed to do something they themselves were doing. Had they bothered to take the time to explain why they didn't want me to partake in whatever it was as opposed to issuing a hypocritical directive, I might have listened. Instead, like most teenagers, as a statement of defiance, I deliberately did what I was told not to.
Some people think I still behave like that insolent adolescent - defiant just to be defiant - but the fear and anger that drove that insolent adolescent was resolved years ago - or so I thought. As it turns out, I had only intellectually resolved my fear of being controlled. I hadn't yet resolved the fear emotionally - in my heart. When I stand in my own truth, the energy I sent out into the Universe is genuine, and the Universe will respond in kind. In other words, I will absolutely get back what I put out, and I'm counting on it!
I am a truth seeker. It has taken me decades, hundreds of books and hours and hours of trial and error to get to where I am now in my personal belief systems. Every single thing I suggest to others I have done myself. In fact, I never suggest anything that I haven't thoroughly questioned, researched and in most cases tested on myself.
2020 has been a challenging year for all of us. Every single person on this planet has been negatively impacted by the Covid-19 virus. People have lost their jobs, businesses and loved ones to this virus, and regardless of how you want to frame it, the virus has and continues to kill people. Suicide rates are way up. Domestic violence is way up. Opioid abuse was a problem before, but now? No one knows the actual extent. Anxiety, depression and all the various types of health concerns relating to stress are increasing daily. We have been lied to, coerced, manipulated, mandated, threatened, humiliated, publicly shamed and psychologically damaged by people who, for the most part, believe they are doing the 'right thing', but who determines what the right thing is? And for whom?
I certainly do not have all the answers, but what I do have choice.
I never though I would live in a time where censorship runs rampant, and freedom of speech and personal sovereignty are at risk. I remember my grandparents talking about living in England during WWI & WWII, and I remember studying similar times throughout history, but not in my wildest dreams did I think for one millisecond that I would live in a world that is consciously choosing to move toward totalitarian rule. It has taken me months to work through the fear of losing my freedom, but finally, I know what living free actually means. I certainly do not have all the answers, but what I do have is choice.
I know that whatever I choose to participate in grows. In other words, if I choose to continue to spend time on social media platforms who, openly and without apology, censor information, then by proxy I am contributing to censorship. If I say the most important thing to me is freedom but participate in a platform that openly censors, then I am a hypocrite, so I made the choice to practice what I preach and I deleted all of my social media accounts - save two - both dedicated to businesses and at the time of writing this, and to the best of my knowledge, not censoring.
Over the past several months, I have done what I always do when I'm stuck in anger, frustration and negativity, and that is rest, research, and renew myself.
Over the past several months, I have done what I always do when I'm stuck in anger, frustration and negativity, and that is rest, research, and renew myself. I do what I can to get outdoors more often - far, far away from computers and cell service - and immerse myself in nature. This is where I best commune with my inner self, which I know without a doubt, is connected to something much bigger than me. When I silence my mind and reach out to the Universe for guidance, I know that eventually, that book, or person will find a way to find me, and I will learn something that will not only help me help myself, but will also help me help others.
I was reminded that I am not alone and that regardless of what appears to be happening around me, I am, and always will be free.
© 2020 Penny Hodgson All Rights Reserved