CHOOSE YOUR AFFILIATIONS WISELY – Penny's Perspective Series


When you seek to affiliate yourself with something, you are really trying to find a way to heal an emotional wound. If you feel this need is coming from deep inside your being, it is your Spirit that is telling you that it's time to heal this particular wound.

There are two different types of groups that you can choose to affiliate yourself with - those whose aim is to help you heal - and those that create more conflict by assigning blame and publicly proclaim what they perceive as some kind of wrongdoing.

Healing groups usually follow specific steps or guidelines designed to help you discover why a particular behavior has taken root in your life. Examples are self help groups such as 12 Step groups for addicts OR for those who live with or are affected by addicts.

These types of groups rarely publicly advertise, instead encouraging their members to offer help to others by personally reaching out to friends, co-workers or personal family members that may be suffering from the same malady. In fact, reaching out to help others is the final step offered in the guidelines for these groups.

Groups that create conflict are usually not organized in a structural sense, but give the impression that they are. The people in these types of groups take it upon themselves to bring attention to people or events - current or in the past - they believe are oppressive or offensive. They recruit others by these public proclamations and give this group the appearance of being beneficial.

There is no building or place of gathering that a person physically goes to in these types of groups. The affiliation is merely a personal choice. The internet and social media provide the perfect outlet for public proclamations attacking the supposed oppressors. After all, there is safety in numbers.

Groups whose purpose is to help heal don't publicly assign blame, nor do they support the idea of blame. Groups that heal teach the wounded person to understand what actually hurt them, and provide tools to help the person dress their wounds. Blame is not encouraged in any manner or form.

Blame provides temporary relief from the emotional pain from which one is suffering, but never actually heals that suffering. Blame causes further division between the accuser and the accused, whether it is hurled at one person or an entire group. Blame reinforces the wound rather than provide a means of healing. Blame keeps the wounded person in a victim mentality and also gives the wounded person's personal power to the accused.

There are certain steps that need to be taken to heal emotional wounds, whether you choose to do so in a group setting, with a doctor, holistic health practitioner or other type of healer.

Trying to heal on your own is rarely successful, because the events that caused the emotional wounds that you carry around in your memory and in your body are fixed. These wounds have likely been festering for a long time, sometimes years. Removing the poison from your thoughts, emotions and even your body requires the help from someone with a different perspective than the one stored in your memories.

When your Spirit is pushing you to seek help, that inner voice will always guide you to the healer that is best for you, because your Spirit is ALWAYS connected to a higher power, and that higher power ALWAYS has your best interest at heart.

Ego - which usually promotes some kind of blame - does not guide you to seek help from outside of yourself. Ego will attempt to block your Spirit's guidance by reminding you of all the times that others' have failed you or the group you have affiliated yourself with. Your Spirit will remind you of all the times you have received support.

The specific name of your higher power isn't important, but the acknowledgement of a higher power IS important. Once you choose to follow your Spirit and align yourself with your higher power, you have taken the first important step in the healing process.

Choose your affiliations wisely! One leads to healing - the other to prolonged suffering.

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