Secrets Grow Into Heavy Burdens
Updated: Jan 12
Do you remember hearing:
No one likes a tattle-tale
Loose lips sink ships
Don't let the cat out of the bag!
Can you keep a secret?
Think back to a time when someone told you to keep something secret. Ask yourself:
Who was that person that encouraged you to keep something quiet and what exactly was the secret?
Why were you willing to keep that secret?
How many times did this person tell you to keep a secret?
If someone approached you today and asked you to keep a similar secret - would you? Why?
Try to recall the most influential person in your early life who introduced you to the idea of keeping secrets. What age were you?
When I was young, my dad was the most influential person because he carried the most authority. He was a big man - about 6 foot 2 and weighed over 200 lbs. When he was angry, his face and his bald head would turn red, and even if he wasn't yelling, the tone of his voice left no question in your mind as to his state of being!
My dad grew up in the war years. He was born in the late 1920's to parents who had emigrated to Canada from England. I remember my Grandma telling me stories of being in London when the Nazi bombs fell during World War I. She didn't talk a lot about the first or second war, but her husband was so damaged by both of them, he became stuck in those memories in his later years.
During the war years, secrecy was a big deal. In Europe, there were entire groups of people whose lives depended on other people keeping secrets. Some of these were the folks in 'the resistance' and passing secrets was how they fought against their enemy. Others were employed by governments to 'spy on the enemy'.Both sides issued propaganda to discourage and threaten people who were considering joining the resistance or being a spy. Spying and lying were one and the same words at this time in history, and still are in some places on earth.
The mind files that were formed in the generation of people who lived through these wars weren't immediately resolved when the war ended. Each person would have had to personally and intentionally pull each and every file and re-SOLVE each one by forgiving their perceived enemy. In my Grandfather's case, he was on the front lines, so his enemy was tangible and his fear not only reasonable, but extremely intense. My Grandmother didn't see the enemy as close up as my Grandfather, but she heard the bomb sirens and felt the explosions as she and others huddled in the basement of a home in London when the bombs fell. The mind files her mind's process formed at the time would have also been extremely intense.
Both of my parents were teenagers living in Canada during the second world war, so their understanding of the enemy was intangible. It was based on stories about the war they heard from the adults in their life; from various media reports and from government propaganda. In the 1940's there was a campaign warning people to be aware of what they were saying and who they were saying it to. Loose lips sink ships was the catch phrase and it's effects went well beyond World War II.
The mind file that dealt with keeping secrets, for most people living during these years, was created in a time of intense societal fear and most likely contained hundred of negatively charged coloured filters.
As any of you who follow my program know, we send and receive through the filters we have filed away in the files in the filing cabinets of our mind. My parents passed their rigid perspectives about secrets on to us kids. My dad firmly believed that what went on in our house should stay within those walls. We were taught to never talk about our problems outside of the house.
When my mom died, I became clinically depressed and sought help from a therapist. I knew my dad didn't approve of talking to someone outside of the house, and I knew he would be angry if and when he found out, but I didn't care. I knew that I wasn't going to get better unless I spoke to someone outside of my circle.
Several months after I had started therapy, my dad noticed a huge change in me. I was calmer, and I was beginning to come out of my protective shell. He asked me what I was doing that was different and I broke my silence. I told him I was seeing a therapist. He said: well you know how I feel about that! And I replied: yes, yes I do.
Locate the file that deals with secrecy in the filing cabinets of your mind and reassess it now - at your current level of understanding. Seek outside help if you need to.
Re-SOLVE this file and free yourself from carrying around the heavy burden of maintaining a secret.
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